Dear Me, Love Cynthia

written on 28 May 2021 by Cynthia Akinsanya


Dear Cynthia,

You might not believe this right now, but the future’s ok, you’ll like it here.

Let’s start with what you’ll probably want to know first. You don’t get to meet the man of your dreams and live happily ever after. You do find the man of your dreams, but if you’d married him, you’d be living a nightmare. If you hear anyone say not everything that is shiny is gold, listen to them, it’s the truth. Your husband’s a keeper. If he was in a line-up of potential prospects, you’d probably overlook him, but God knows what lies ahead on this roller-coaster thing called life. He’s not ‘shiny’, but he’s good for you and he’s pure gold.

Cynthia, be yourself. You are a follower of Christ, not anyone else. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to get rid of those PVC jeans (besides, they will come back in fashion), no longer colour your hair or stop expressing your individuality. That creativity was put within you...You’ll need it and utilise it in the future.

Continue to be open, honest and real, this is why people from all walks of life will be drawn to you and will be part of your future extended family. Leave the God-fearing - self-righteous folk to love by selection and do their thing in the name of Christianity (and keep reminding yourself that when they actually say never would I ever, it’s probably true, because they’ve never been asked).

Your marriage will be different and you are going to find your own perfect groove as a mother (get ready to do a lot of dancing in your kitchen). Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that being a good mother means that you give up your job, stay at home, wear frilly aprons, keep house and bake cookies (you will be baking, but not just for your household). There will be days that your child will be the last one to be picked up at nursery or after school. Don’t be riddled with guilt about not being a stay-at-home mum, your children (I won’t tell you how many or what you will have) are seeing their mother going out into the world and the community and making a difference. This will inspire them.

Your walk with God should not be mapped out by anyone. Don’t try to fit into the mould of what a good Christian should be or do – that mould is man-made, it has nothing to do with God’s divine plan for your life. God is going to speak to you and get you to step out in bizarre ways and bizarre places, go with it and be comfortable with it. He gets you and He’s got you.

Life isn’t always about being the centre of attention. Don’t wrestle with this. God loves introverts too, so embrace it. Step out of the way and leave those who feel the need to document their exploits for approval. God is only interested in your heart – keep it pure.

Those verses and lines that you’ve highlighted in your bible today will resonate with you in twenty years and beyond. They will provide comfort, security, peace and will quiet your soul, just when you need them to. So continue to Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. After all, he put them there in the first place.